Separating from your spouse can be a freeing and healthy choice; however, the process of disentangling yourself from your spouse can create unique challenges. You may have heated and seemingly unsolvable disagreements about why the divorce is occurring or how to resolve domestic matters — like property ownership and child custody. In these moments, a seasoned lawyer can serve as a guide and supporter, helping you understand your legal rights and recommend potential courses of action.
If you are in the midst of a high-conflict divorce, having a straightforward and compassionate advocate is key. The South Carolina team at Turner Family Law understands what you may be thinking, feeling, and worrying about as you navigate this situation. As a divorced father himself, Michael Turner has been where you are. He leverages his personal experience to empathize with his clients and create responsive strategies on their behalf.
What Constitutes a High-Conflict Divorce?
A high-conflict divorce is where the separating spouses heavily disagree on the reason for or logistics of the split. For example, one spouse may oppose the other person’s accusations of infidelity. Likewise, the parties may get into a heated conflict about who gets the house, the kids, or the pets.
Additionally, the two spouses may feel so upset with each other that they can’t communicate about routine matters. As a result, they may have to have attorneys and (if applicable) a mediator to help moderate their discussions.
Effective Communication Strategies in a High-Conflict Divorce
In every relationship, effective communication is critical to avoid conflict. But, when you and your spouse have decided to part ways, knowing what to communicate, when, and how is especially important. After all, misunderstandings can translate into courtroom conflicts if you don’t have the proper legal help or interpersonal tools at your disposal.
Communication methods
Once you know what you need to communicate, determine the most skillful way to send this message. If you and your soon-to-be-ex aren’t able to talk to each other without getting into an argument, it may be best to limit conversations to those that are necessary. You and your ex can agree on when and how to talk to each other ahead of time. For example, you might decide that text is best for some topics, but in-person is better for others. Another factor to consider is when a third party — such as a lawyer — should be present and when they should not.
Setting boundaries
Even though it can be challenging when tensions and emotions are high, setting — and maintaining — clear and healthy boundaries can be a gift. To set a boundary, first think about what your goal is and how you would like to accomplish it.
For example, let’s say your goal is to limit confusion about what you’ve agreed to about who gets the house, investments, and cars. In this case, it may be appropriate to set the boundary to not talk about these topics unless the lawyer is present. You can go a step further and decide on what the other person should say when someone starts to bring up these topics outside the designated times to do so.
Parenting coordinator
In a high-conflict divorce, working with a parenting coordinator may be appropriate. A parenting coordinator is someone who helps divorcing or divorced couples navigate conflict concerning children. For example, you and your spouse may use a parenting coordinator if you’re constantly arguing about the children and are worried about how this might impact the children.
Legal Strategies for Resolving a High-Conflict Divorce
When tensions are high, it can be easy to inadvertently agree to things you don’t want to or that aren’t in your best interests, legally speaking. To safeguard yourself against these instances, you can take a few steps, such as hiring an attorney, attending mediation, and drafting clear legal documents.
Hiring an attorney
A dedicated family lawyer can be an invaluable asset to those who are in the divorce process.
They can serve as a buffer when you and your ex-spouse need to discuss sensitive issues, like child support and property division. Additionally, the lawyer can help you understand your legal rights and file paperwork on your behalf.
Attending mediation and alternative dispute resolution sessions
Under South Carolina law, most (but not all) divorcing couples need to attend mediation.
Mediation is a controlled setting where each spouse — and their family lawyers — meet to discuss certain legal topics in front of a neutral party. In a high-conflict divorce, mediation can be beneficial as a way to resolve specific issues. Instead of discussing these matters in volatile settings — like at home — you have the chance to explore these topics while professionals guide you.
Drafting clear legal documents
Creating clear and legally sound documents is a critical component of any divorce. By deciding on crucial issues — like property division and matters concerning the children — ahead of time, you limit the potential for disagreements later on.
For example, a high-conflict divorce parenting plan can help set the ground rules for how you and your ex will co-parent after the divorce becomes final. As circumstances change — such as a big move or career shift — you may be able to modify this agreement so it works best for your child. In the interim, you use the rules laid out in the contract.
Using Mediation to Resolve Child Custody Disputes in High-Conflict Divorce Cases
During a divorce, one of the heated topics couples may have to resolve involves the children. For example, each spouse may disagree about who the children should live with or how to make decisions about their upbringing.
The mediation process allows the parents to speak about these issues in a controlled setting.
Mediation also protects the children from getting caught in the crossfire — especially over matters that directly concern them.
Contact a High-Conflict Divorce Attorney in South Carolina for Legal Help
Going through a divorce can be mentally draining, especially if you and your soon-to-be ex find it hard to have most conversations without fighting. By identifying, defining, and enforcing boundaries, creating clear agreements, and working with a seasoned lawyer, you can help limit potential misunderstandings.
The Turner Family Law team stands ready to support and guide you through the legal process of resolving conflict with your ex-partner. For over 14 years, J. Michael Turner, Jr. has stood by those in South Carolina who are trying to move through the legal process of ending their marriage. Contact us today by calling 864-778-2734 to schedule a consultation with a high-conflict divorce lawyer today.
